Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Back to school

Yesterday morning Offspring stood on the stairs for those "first day of school" photos that we take every year.  But instead of a little boy, it was a young man standing there.  These days when I turn to look at him, his eyes are almost (but not quite) level with my own and I don't have to bend over to hug him.  His feet are now officially longer.  He has long since surpassed eating the same amount that I do.  The voice is starting to deepen and I have to caution him that he is much stronger now and must be more gentle with his mother.  The strongest indication of the little boy disappearing was the total lack of hesitation walking into school.

Some moms would lament that their "baby" is gone.  While I may comment that he is not a baby any more in conversation, I am quite pleased to see him more grown up and to see how he is growing up.  All that time and love invested in him when he was little is paying off.  I personally think he is a great kid.  He certainly is not a "typical" teenager (well, rousting him out of bed was a tad more difficult than usual!).  You can hold conversations with him.  He looks you in the eye.  He will act excited, rather than bored or sullen.  And he is nice!  Death knell, I know, when said about boys. But I am raising someone's future husband here and I think that matters!

Back to school always means that I am less "Mom" and more "adult".  I get back to work, have time to do chores uninterrupted (well, mostly), and have more contact with other parents and adults.  And every fall I feel an urgency to tackle as many projects that didn't get done during the summer as possible, before the weather turns uncooperative.  Hey, it has been uncooperative practically all summer, what am I saying!  So maybe the painting I had hoped to do won't get done.  Maybe there are still piles of papers to sort.  If I can just finish the old paint jobs I will be satisfied.  The ones where just one or two things that didn't get finished finally get completed (the bathroom moulding, the garage ceiling, the house numbers). If I can sort through one more box of old paperwork or finish a sewing project here and there, I will feel a sense of accomplishment.  And maybe, just maybe, saying no to one particular volunteer project will make that happen.

Addendum:  I had prepared this post yesterday and just wanted to add a photo later in the day (when the backpack was here). But my feeble memory finally kicked in and I remembered that after school on the first day back is not necessarily a pretty picture. So instead of taking a photo and blogging (please forgive me!), I planned and prepared for making the rude awakening of back to school a little less shocking. After a trip to the grocery store that meant a special issue of National Geographic waiting on the table with fruit quickly washed and ready for a snack.  With the first course of the snacking (there were 3!), I focused on heartier fare with a second course of fruit ready when the first was inhaled. Dinner included green bean casserole and other favorite comfort foods.  I commiserated over the numerous algebra problems and the first current event assignment, while providing lots of hugs and as much positive energy as I could muster.  I didn't try to accomplish anything else during this time except helping my teenager adjust to the loss of personal time.  To his credit, he spent more time on his homework than complaining (a first, I think), staying focused and even enjoying the mental exercises.  It helped that he was motivated to finish in time to watch White Collar (thanks to the joys of the DVR).  And, you know, it worked.  All those little things boosted the spirits of my introvert and made for a much more pleasant first day of school.  I even got to hear what went on during the day!  I wish I could remember that I need to be more "present" and less "productive" in order to be a good parent!  So I tweaked this entry for "after the fact" and have to just accept that if this blogging is to work for me, I have to do what I have to.  And for me, family come first.  Always has, always will. 

3 comments:

  1. I feel exactly the same way about productive/present and have been meditating on a quote about love and hurry(recently over at my blog).

    I am trying to guess the age of your son. He sounds very similar to my 7th grader.

    Looking forward to reading about the projects you choose to tackle and how you find ways to be "present".

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  2. You inspired me, Heather! After reading your post I thought about the times, usually hurrying to school, when harsh words were said. And hurry really does a number, especially on sensitive teenagers. And you are close, 8th grade. The top dogs, the big kahunas. For the time being, anyway.

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  3. Taking life just a little bit slower has some nice payoffs. I like this age a lot--fun to talk with, almost-adults, interesting. And thank heavens for a second parent when they start pushing your buttons!

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